Stages of Evolution. Waves of unfolding. The spiral.

You are familiar with the holonic stages ::: from pre-personal to personal to trans-personal; from body/physical to mind/mental/intellectual to Spiritual; from ego-centric to ethno-centric/Nationalistic to World-centric/global. From pre-rational to rational to trans-rational.

:::

From vengeance to justice to Grace.

From your emotions running you to having choice around your emotional reactions to achieving a place of actual freedom; from crawling to walking to running.

Stages of ever increasing inclusiveness. Stages of ever-increasing whole-ness. Levels of ever-increasing expansiveness.

Now, in the first paragraph, replace “to” with “transcending, and then including”. You see, these are ever expanding holonic spheres. And part of the healthy spiral or waves, if they are to be healthy and not hobbled by pathology, is not “transcend, and then deny” it is “transcend and include”.

Part of the Integral, or in Spiral Dynamics [henceforth "SD"] Yellow, or second tier, SD7, SDi, is being able to call upon the entire first tier, as need be. As the context calls for it. To have the behavioral and situational flexibility to realize which memetic code you are dealing with and address it at its level, and if it serves, to give it the egoic and emotional “food” to go the next stage.

You may be asking ::: So f***ing what, Jason?!

There is this myth that you are not supposed to be angry. Or have “lower chakra” drives [sex, for example] or that you are somehow immune to emotional injury. The truth is that this is…well, myth. What is true is that you are more free from identification with any of those things. You are free to choose. You notice your sensations to be sure. They pass through quickly. Or as I like to say ::: it hurts more, but you care less.

But what a whole class of developmental organizations and schools of thought have implied is that you should not feel these things–and thereby causing people to become disembodied. They are walking heads. Their body is just a vehicle to get them to meetings. They are over weight. They perhaps even have addictions. They do not admit their emotional aspects that are “negative” and they are attempting to “just” be Spiritual [skipping the material/rational/Just/monetary]; they are attempting to skip stages.

This is impossible without significant pathology developing.

Just try and have an infant run before they can walk. See how far they get. The bump on their head is a great metaphor for the pathology created. Skipping rungs on the ladder of the development of their consciousness. It amuses me. People attempting to transcend to the spiritual “plane” before they’ve even figured out how to move the furniture around on the material plane.

And it saddens me, because they are not fully alive. To be fully alive, our chakras [for lack of a better label] should be firing all at once. ALL fully open and alive. All flowing with the energy of Spirit. Life force.

AND, at some level/stage, you have enough choice to be responsible with those energetic flows and not get them on other people, in an irresponsible way.

However, what is means to you [especially at SD7 or beyond] is that you are able to call upon whatever is required. Outcome. Context. Efficacy. If what is required is love and Grace [trans-rational] then you call upon those capacities you have developed; if justice is required you call upon the levers of justice/courts/legislation [and a lawyer/practitioner if need be]; if brute force is put upon you, then perhaps equal or greater force is what is required–and if need be, you call upon those capacities.

So think we should not consider those as options when “higher” solutions are ineffective is at least naive.

It is a bill of goods sold to us by people attempting to sell one-step transformation. One-step enlightenment. One weekend “breakthroughs” to X, Y, or Z. Well intended people attempting to change your life setting you up, quite unknowingly, to compare yourself to some imagined ideal. One-step. Only people who have practiced, meditated, or whatever for years get to say that “trying to be enlightened is like trying to get a left foot”. You already have it. Right. After 20 years of daily practice they tell you it is one step.

What you get in an experience like that is a peek and a peak at what is possible for you. This, is good. It is a picture of the next camp or the summit perhaps. And after the buzz of the workshop or the retreat wears off, you are faced with being in the same old place again. How long does it take? 3 weeks?

So settle in. Enjoy the view of the peak. Use it as a goal. Or as Mr Mark Michael Lewis says, use it as a guiding light, not a whipping post. And allow the stages to unfold. Allow your depth to become ever-increassingly more exposed. Allow the rose that is your soul to open to to all that is. To your divinity.

And know, it is a lot of work. And that is good. Building muscles does not happen over night. And nor should it.

So settle in to your daily practice. Whatever it may be. I have two I recommend ::: vipassanna meditation and Core Transformation. Use them. Use them well. Use them daily.

Yours in Evolution,

Jason

Uncategorized

One of the aspects of working on and in the context of personal evolution is that I am constantly in evolution in both senses of the word–”in it”, as in exploring the context and in the process of my own personal evolution as well–because you see, it is never over. Our evolution, which is really about allowing the greatest depths of ourselves to unfold and manifest in the world, is never over–because our depths are infinite. If who we are is a manifestation of the divine–an outpouring of Spirit, and the Kingdom of God is Within [and I believe it is] than there is no end to uncovering, clearing, and allowing that beauty to unfold in the world.

And I never ask my clients to do anything I have not done myself and am applying in my own life. Period. As such, this post is a little more personal for me to demonstrate that.

After my divorce, and the year long self-reflection that followed, I realized that for the most part, what consistently happened in my romantic relating was a zero-sum type of dynamic. That at the end of my relationship with a woman, she was tangibly more empowered, more comfortable with herself, more fully embodied, and proud of her womanhood.

Partly because it was my constant practice to be sure she felt loved, had per positive qualities acknowledged somehow on an actual daily basis [not the same ones, but what authentically struck me in the moment as I appreciated her at some point], that she not only had a daily reminder, with full connection and presence of my love for her [and what I loved about her and why] but that she blushed with my acknowledgments.

It was conscious. Intentional. And the relating really cost me dearly. I was psychically drained, more dis-empowered, and frankly, less of a man by the end. It was, in fact, a zero-sum game.

It was not the things I was doing that drained me. They were rewarding to just do it. It was the lack of any reciprocal expression, I think. And I other things they did that I lacked facility around.

The contrast had never been so great than after my divorce–and the dynamics never so clear as in that marriage.

Now, I never planned it that way, but once I noticed it after the divorce, I ended up having a zero-tolerance policy for romantic relating that was not about synergistic upward spirals where both people were winning–and the relating was winning too. A triple win game. Both parties were winning–AND the actual relating was winning too. It is healthier for me to just be alone and fully empowered McClain-Ness than to be in unfulfilling and relating that ultimately cost me energetically. Although it took me a while to adjust to that, and sadly there was one relationship in which she ended up being drained…but it is all a process–and sometimes that is about the pendulum swinging the other way before it swings back the middle to finally rest upon the golden mean.

But back to zero-sum…

Let’s face it–people who have little or no self-respect choose bad and even abusive relationships over being alone. Me? I would rather wake up alone, be in the company of just myself, than be in an unhealthy or un-fulfilling relationship. And I never have [and never will] just go from one relationship to another. Takes at least 6 months or so for self-reflection and the integration of the learnings before we can be responsible with another’s heart, But that is all romantic…

Six years later, I am just now getting to really make sure that is generalized into all relating–not just romantic.

This is all part of how I have been consciously going through ALL of my friendships, free of sentimentality or attachment, and shrewdly examining if they are rich, dynamic, healthy, and fulfilling–or if they are just habits. And then explicitly ending the friendship or deepening and continuing the friendship with more connection, engagement, and intentionality. Regardless of how much I love the individual I am in the friendship with I may be ending. The relating must also be fulfilling. and one of the most important things for me that has the relating fulfilling is emotional engagement…rather than fear and detachment. But real engagement–yet also free of identification or enmeshment.

SOMETIMES that means me making decisions for other people when their relating with me is not serving THEM. I used to refuse to do so, thinking I was availing them of the growth opportunity to declare boundaries, make those choices themselves, develop confidence in communicating their needs, etc. But given that most people are deficient in true esteem for the self, and self-respect [part of which is demonstrated by drawing boundaries] is one of the core components of esteem for the self [along with self-efficacy] but I stopped doing that. I am now quite comfortable making choices for others when they continually demonstrate they incompetent to do for themselves–so long as it is about relating with me.

That is quite enough of the why and the what. But what about the “how” Jason?

It is all about values and forms.

One of the exercises I have clients do in Phase 2 of the Personal Evolution program [and occasionally in the professional evolution program as well] is a full life, all context examination of what is important to them [values] and how they would know if it were being experienced by them; what would they be seeing, feeling hearing, doing, and experiencing that would prover to them they were experiencing value X, Y, or Z? Conflict often happens in the form [which is why politicians are scant on policy papers before the election]. Values [freedom, security, justice] are things that everyone can agree on–we all want that. The HOW of carrying them out? Conflict arises sure as the sun also rises.

So in seeking friendships or romantic relating, it is not enough to express that “communication” is important to us. For some that will mean asking about your day. For others that will mean that if you are bothered by something, no matter how small, you share your internal process. Communication is the value, but the form is different.

Anytime we are upset, barring an unresolved event from the past or a pervasive self-esteem issue, we must look to values. So this becomes a tool for elegant communication to have your needs expressed [and met] as well. One that avoids conflict or having the other person be wrong. One that has intimacy and a deeper level of understanding arise.

But that is a story for another time.

For now, do this:

Take 3 major contexts in your life [romantic, career, community] as ask your self what is important to you in those contexts. You will know it is a “value” if it is conceptual, abstract. If you can put it in a wheelbarrow or touch it or smell it, it is NOT a value, but a form. To “chunk up” higher to the value, ask, “what’s important to me about that?” If you are looking at forms, then it MUST be able to be put in a wheelbarrow–measured, touched, observed. If it can not, and it is an abstract value, then you can “chunk down” to the form by asking, “If I were experiencing _______ how would I know? What would I be seeing, feeling, hearing? What would my evidence be?”

I recommend 3 to 5 values in each context. And for each value, 3 forms or pieces of tangible evidence of that value being realized in the context.

The truth is that if you do this exercise, you might be terribly confronted by the relationship or the career you are in–or you will be relieved to have a conscious and explicit answer as to why you are not fulfilled–or you are drained, or their is conflict you can not understand.

If you are not in one of those context currently [you are single, or you are laid off, or looking for a gig] then this becomes a wonderful tool to overlay onto the person or organization. So you can consciously choose a relationship or organization that truly and consciously suits your values. Otherwise, the spiritual costs are immeasurable. No matter how great the compensation package, or how much chemistry, the spiritual costs of un-fulfilling contexts [where your values are not fulfilled] are immeasurable.

At the same time, be cautious that you are assessing others *through time*. If you only have a snap shot of them, and you are saying they do not suit you personally or professionally, you may be more living out a stage 1, low self-esteem ego game by being right and “justified” than by actually seeing a conflict of values, but that is also another story for another time.

Choose the conscious, fulfilling path. I beg of you, for you and for your Spiritual expression. while this may seem liek a lot of work, it is even more of a burden–and more insidiously so–to be in unfulfilling contexts.

So, ask yourself ::: are you in a habit, or in a relationship?

Communication, Uncategorized, emotions, inter-personal dynamics, intra-personal dynamics, organizing principles, relationships, self-esteem detachment, emotional freedom, facility with self, identification, organizing principles, self-esteem

One of the aspects of working on and in the context of personal evolution is that I am constantly in evolution in both senses of the word–”in it”, as in exploring the context and in the process of my own personal evolution as well–because you see, it is never over. Our evolution, which is really about allowing the greatest depths of ourselves to unfold and manifest in the world, is never over–because our depths are infinite. If who we are is a manifestation of the divine–an outpouring of Spirit, and the Kingdom of God is Within [and I believe it is] than there is no end to uncovering, clearing, and allowing that beauty to unfold in the world.

After my divorce, and the year long self-reflection that followed, I realized that for the most part, what consistently happened in my romantic relating was a zero-sum type of dynamic. That at the end of my relationship with a woman, she was tangibly more empowered, more comfortable with herself, more fully embodied, and more tangibly sexual and proud of her womanhood.

Partly because it was my constant practice to be sure she felt loved, had per positive qualities acknowledged somehow on an actual daily basis [not the same ones, but what authentically struck me in the moment as I appreciated her at some point], that she not only had a daily reminder, with full connection and presence of my love for her [and what I loved about her and why] but that she blushed with my acknowledgments.

It was conscious. Intentional. And the relating really cost me dearly. I was psychically drained, more dis-empowered, and frankly, less of a man by the end. It was, in fact, a zero-sum game.

It was not the things I was doing that drained me. They were rewarding to just do it. It was the lack of any reciprocal expression, I think. And I other things they did that I lacked facility around.

Now, I never planned it that way, but once I noticed it after the divorce, I ended up having a zero-tolerance policy for romantic relating that was not about synergistic upward spirals where both people were winning–and the relating was winning too. A triple win game. Both parties were winning–AND the actual relating was winning too. It is healthier for me to just be alone and fully empowered McClain-Ness than to be in unfulfilling and relating that ultimately cost me energetically. Although it took me a while to adjust to that, and sadly there was one relationship in which she ended up being drained…but it is all a process–and sometimes that is about the pendulum swinging the other way before it swings back the middle to finally rest upon the golden mean.

But back to zero-sum…

Let’s face it–people who have little or no self-respect choose bad and even abusive relationships over being alone. Me? I would rather wake up alone, be in the company of just myself, and be engaged in seeming excessive m^sturb^ti^n than be in an unhealthy or un-fulfilling relationship. Hehehe. And I never have [and never will] just go from one relationship to another. But that is all romantic…

I am just now getting to really make sure that is generalized into all relating–not just romantic.

This is all part of how I have been consciously going through ALL of my friendships, free of sentimentality or attachment, and shrewdly examining if they are rich, dynamic, healthy, and fulfilling–or if they are just habits. And then explicitly ending the friendship or deepening and continuing the friendship with more connection, engagement, and intentionality. Regardless of how much I love the individual I am in the friendship with I may be ending. The relating must also be fulfilling. and one of the most important things for me that has the relating fulfilling is emotional engagement…rather than fear and detachment. But real engagement–yet also free of identification or enmeshment…but enough about what’s important to me…

SOMETIMES that means me making decisions for other people when their relating with me is not serving THEM. I used to refuse to do so, thinking I was availing them of the growth opportunity to declare boundaries, make those choices themselves, develop confidence in communicating their needs, etc. But given that most people are deficient in true esteem for the self, and self-respect [part of which is demonstrated by drawing boundaries] is one of the core components of esteem for the self [along with self-efficacy] but I stopped doing that. I am now quite comfortable making choices for others when they continually demonstrate they incompetent to do for themselves–so long as it is about relating with me.

That is quite enough of the why and the what. But what about the “how” Jason?

It is all about values and forms.

One of the exercises I have clients do in Phase 2 of the Personal Evolution program [and occasionally in the professional evolution program as well] is a full life, all context examination of what is important to them [values] and how they would know if it were being experienced by them; what would they be seeing, feeling hearing, doing, and experiencing that would prover to them they were experiencing value X, Y, or Z? Conflict often happens in the form [which is why politicians are scant on policy papers before the election]. Values [freedom, security, justice] are things that everyone can agree on–we all want that. The HOW of carrying them out? Conflict arises sure as the sun also rises.

So in seeking friendships or romantic relating, it is not enough to express that “communication” is important to us. For some that will mean asking about your day. For others that will mean that if you are bothered by something, no matter how small, you share your internal process. Communication is the value, but the form is different.

Anytime we are upset, barring an unresolved event from the past or a pervasive self-esteem issue, we must look to values. So this becomes a tool for elegant communication to have your needs expressed [and met] as well. One that avoids conflict or having the other person be wrong. One that has intimacy and a deeper level of understanding arise.

But that is a story for another time.

For now, do this:

Take 3 major contexts in your life [romantic, career, community] as ask your self what is important to you in those contexts. You will know it is a “value” if it is conceptual, abstract. If you can put it in a wheelbarrow or touch it or smell it, it is NOT a value, but a form. To “chunk up” higher to the value, ask, “what’s important to me about that?” If you are looking at forms, then it MUST be able to be put in a wheelbarrow–measured, touched, observed. If it can not, and it is an abstract value, then you can “chunk down” to the form by asking, “If I were experiencing _______ how would I know? What would I be seeing, feeling, hearing? What would my evidence be?”

I recommend 3 to 5 values in each context. And for each value, 3 forms or pieces of tangible evidence of that value being realized in the context.

The truth is that if you do this exercise, you might be terribly confronted by the relationship or the career you are in–or you will be relieved to have a conscious and explicit answer as to why you are not fulfilled–or you are drained, or their is conflict you can not understand.

If you are not in one of those context currently [you are single, or you are laid off, or looking for a gig] then this becomes a wonderful tool to overlay onto the person or organization. So you can consciously choose a relationship or organization that truly and consciously suits your values. Otherwise, the spiritual costs are immeasurable. No matter how great the compensation package, or how much chemistry, the spiritual costs of un-fulfilling contexts [where your values are not fulfilled] are immeasurable.

Choose the conscious, fulfilling path. I beg of you, for you and for your Spiritual expression. And as you choose to do that, ask yourself::: are you in a habit, or in a relationship?

Uncategorized

Imagine being confused when someone asks you if you took something
personally. Authentically confused–as in, that interpretation is
actually confusing to you.

Imagine being free–finally–from the opinions of others defining
who you are.

Imagine when the sh** comes down in your life there is just the
sh** to deal with and your mind is fully in service–it is your
slave, rather than you being enslaved and imprisoned by your own
mind. I do not mean just in a specific context–personal evolution
is not context dependent as in a piece of change–but a core level
of evolution such that your natural emotional responses are more
free–in every context.

Imagine “reframing” being unnecessary–unnecessary because the
reframe is the frame that naturally arises.

Our ego and our emotions evolve in stages. Greater and greater
expanse. Ever-increasing levels of freedom. Wider and wider embrace
of all that arises–moment to moment.

This is important to you because your stage will determine how you
interpret events as well as your emotional reaction before any
re-framing can occur. In other words, it is what governs your
relationship to interacting with the world and yourself. As I like
to say, it is only important if you interact with yourself–or
others.

Let’s accelerate the process of movement through the egoic stages
so we can play more, love deeper, laugh longer–and hurt for only
as long as is necessary for us to learn what we must learn to
deepen our experience of ourselves.

And isn’t that what it’s all for anyway?

Because who we are is pure divinity. Pure Spirit. “God/dess”
manifest. Yet our particular manifestation is clouded.

As you touch your hand to your heart you may begin to feel Divinity
waiting, wanting to come out and play. Release your divinity.

Your Personal Evolution is the gateway.

Fuller, more grounded details [including when and where] click HERE.

What: Free Intro to Personal Evolution | The Evolutionary Ego
When: Tuesday June 23rd, 7:15pm
Where: 582 Market Street || 10th Floor Conference Room || San Francisco CA

Full Other-Flavored Details click HERE.

Uncategorized

Imagine being confused when someone asks you if you took something
personally. Authentically confused–as in, that interpretation is
actually confusing to you.

Imagine being free–finally–from the opinions of others defining
who you are.

Imagine when the sh** comes down in your life there is just the
sh** to deal with and your mind is fully in service–it is your
slave, rather than you being enslaved and imprisoned by your own
mind. I do not mean just in a specific context–personal evolution
is not context dependent as in a piece of change–but a core level
of evolution such that your natural emotional responses are more
free–in every context.

Imagine “reframing” being unnecessary–unnecessary because the
reframe is the frame that naturally arises.

Our ego and our emotions evolve in stages. Greater and greater
expanse. Ever-increasing levels of freedom. Wider and wider embrace
of all that arises–moment to moment.

This is important to you because your stage will determine how you
interpret events as well as your emotional reaction before any
re-framing can occur. In other words, it is what governs your
relationship to interacting with the world and yourself. As I like
to say, it is only important if you interact with yourself–or
others.

Let’s accelerate the process of movement through the egoic stages
so we can play more, love deeper, laugh longer–and hurt for only
as long as is necessary for us to learn what we must learn to
deepen our experience of ourselves.

And isn’t that what it’s all for anyway?

Because who we are is pure divinity. Pure Spirit. “God/dess”
manifest. Yet our particular manifestation is clouded.

As you touch your hand to your heart you may begin to feel Divinity
waiting, wanting to come out and play. Release your divinity.

Your Personal Evolution is the gateway.

Fuller, more grounded details [including when and where] click HERE.

What: Free Intro to Personal Evolution | The Evolutionary Ego
When: Tuesday May 19th, 7:15pm
Where: 582 Market Street  ||  10th Floor Conference Room  ||  San Francisco CA

Full Other-Flavored Details click  HERE.

ego, events, self-esteem, spirituality

As a holistic practitioner, you are sensitive to dynamics that do not feel right and you truly want to be of service to your prospective clients. You correctly want to make sure they never feel pressured.

At the same time, if you have been in business for yourself for any length of time, you have come to realize that if you do not assist them in overcoming their concerns and their fears or limitations in thinking, you will never be able to assist them in realizing the life they have always wanted, dreamed of, and perhaps have come to you to assist them in finally achieving. In a sense, that is your first test as their coach, guide, or service provider in the helping industries.

At the same time, if you do not have financial sustainability, you will not be able to serve for very long before your own concerns of thriving and prospering come into play. In a word, you need to learn to SELL–but sell without compromising your values of service, contribution, and ethics.

I hated sales until I realized how necessary it was. I still begrudged it until after a decade, I developed Evolutionary Sales. A platform and system that solves all of the problems above while increasing conversion rates. A platform so clean you can be transparent with the prospective client about the motivations for each and every sales technique.

Integrating Eastern spiritual sensibilities and Western tools of influence and market economics–all coming from a platform of service and contribution.

Each and every concern most people have about sales is completely resolved by this system.

Let me give it to you for free. That is what this evening intro is about…

More details [including when and where]  HERE:
http://tinyurl.com/clbnek

In Service,

Jason

21st Century Marketplace, Evolutionary Sales, events

Testing a post from my iPhone.

21st Century Marketplace, Blogging, events apple, heh, iphone, paris hilton's

Some of you know I have developed a comprehensive system and approach to personal evolution.

It is the most efficient as well as comprehensive approach to getting all that you want…as it goes to the core–how you relate to your self and how you relate to the events in your life.  It ripples out to all contexts. This alleviates you from running to this workshop and that workshop and never quite getting that “thing”. This is the result of 17 years of study and integration of everything from NLP to LandMark to Buddhism to Self-Esteem to the Integral movement.

How you relate to yourself and how you relate to the events in your life evolves–and it evolves through stages. This is empirically proven. The question then becomes–how to accelerate the process.

Is there something stopping you from reaching your full potential? Something elusive you can’t quite identify? Do you experience something in the way of you having the kind of life you want and deserve? Does fear, anger, sadness, shame, guilt or for some, even grief, weigh you down unnecessarily? Do you often take things personally? Do you find yourself acting in reaction against, or in continuation of the patterns your parents demonstrated?

You would like to be free from significantly negative emotional events from your past? Truly free—to such a degree you are even grateful for them? Would you like to have a greater understanding of the power of your mind and the minds of those around you?

Have you attended personal development events and found them useful, but ultimately unfulfilling? Have you experienced “transformation”, but found it ultimately unpredictable or unsustainable without a rigorous community?

Would you be interested in freeing up so much of your essence that you were able live your life’s purpose—and prosper from it?

If you answered yes to any of that, join me for this free event.
Learn how to Evolve your Self–your ego and your emotions–through the three basic stages

•Clear your past and free up that energy [for your relationships, your projects, your art, your purpose]
•Build a deep relationship to your self and learn to manage your own mind
[so you do not need someone like me in the future]
•Learn how to integrate that and tap the deep well spring of Spirit within you

Join me to find out how:::
RSVP Required
What: Free Intro to Personal Evolution | The Evolutionary Ego
When: Monday, March 30th, 7:15 pm
Where: 582 Market Street  ||  10th Floor Conference Room  ||  San Francisco CA

events ego, emotions, events

One of the challenges I see so many coaches and solopreneurs struggle with is what they should charge for their services. Most do not know what they should charge. Many charge what they think they can get. Some charge whatever the next coach or practitioner charges. That is–”the going rate”. Many charge what they would be willing to pay themselves. Most charge less than they are worth–while improving the lives of others dramatically.

But why? And what are the solutions to this travesty of value? Read more…

21st Century Marketplace, Coaching Resources, Communication, Evolutionary Sales, Purpose, Uncategorized, coaching practice tips, featured, inter-personal dynamics, organizing principles, sales and marketing tips, spirituality marketing tips, practice tips, Purpose, sales tips, value perception

One critical and often overlooked element to a successful professional and personal life is that of a daily spiritual practice. Whether you are an Evolutionary Sales Professional, an entrepreneur, solo-preneur, or the CEO of a global corporation, you will be more effective once you accept this and integrate it into your daily life.

Some of you may be thinking, “I listened to Jason’s podcasts for 14 weeks, and suddenly he goes woo-woo on me!”

I assure you, nothing could be farther from the truth. What I am about to lay out for you is just as critical a skill as rapport skills, or eliciting values, or finessing the “gatekeeper” on the phone, and is just as tangible a skill—the skill of navigating your own interiors. By “spiritual practice”, I mean a practice that builds the muscle of dis-identification.

Let’s examine this together.

What is “Spiritual”?

Given the current state of the world, I had best define “spiritual” for our purposes here. Typically when someone says spiritual, they mean one of two things:

1. An experience involving some epiphany or outside god or goddess.
2. The revealing of the highest or deepest within each of us

I do not mean the first. Nor do I mean something religious. I do not mean prayer, the lighting of incense, or the saying of some rite or ritual. I am not here to condemn those things—they are just not what I mean. What I mean is dis-identifying from that which you think is you and retreating into that which you truly are—pure awareness. Consciousness. The Witness.

Let’s further examine this together.

“Know thyself.”—The Oracle of Delphi

In the professional domain: have you ever felt “rejected” by a prospect? Ever taken something personally in the business context? Have you ever felt dejected, depressed, or defeated as a result of some interaction or a failure to open the relationship as you had intended? Have you ever obsessed over that client you knew was not quite a fit for you or your organization? Have you ever lied about the results you were producing to make yourself look better? Have you ever been intentionally vague for the same purpose?

Have you ever lost a job and were thrust into a period of confusion and depression?

In the personal domain: have you ever stayed in a relationship after you were clear it did not serve you? out of fear of the social implications? Or out of fear of being alone? Or out of a fear of being uncertain who you would be without him/her in your life? Have you ever been afraid to tell the truth about your self or some aspect of your life, not for the wise practical reasons, but out of a fear of rejection? Have you ever considered suicide over the loss of a large sum of money, a relationship, or a major loss of social reputation? Or stayed in a marriage that was abusive for your familial “obligations”?

Have you ever been upset because someone forgot your name? Or mispronounced it? Or could not remember meeting you?

Maybe you answered yes to some of these, one of these, all of them, or some variation on the theme not listed here for the sake of expediency. These are all a function of two things [and usually both]:

1. Low self-esteem; an underdeveloped ego
2. Identification with that which is not you

Self-esteem I have written about before, and will continue to do so. Just a few quick thoughts here, now:

Self-esteem is so necessary and so misunderstood. So misrepresented in popular psychology today. In fact, I often use the phrasing “esteem for the self” with my clients to set what I mean apart from popularized “self-esteem”. One common misconception is that someone else can be “bad” for your self-esteem. It is not the person that is bad for your self-esteem; it is your volitional choice to stay with them that is “bad” for it. We could go on and on deconstructing the misconceptions, but that is for another time. There is only one sure way to build self-esteem…

Read the second half of this article next week.     Read Part 2 HERE now.

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Cross-Posted at Personal Life Media.

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