inter-personal dynamics
The Need for Approval | Ego | Evolution
Many people have read this piece and encouraged me to post it publicly. So, by popular demand…
It is an email I posted to a client near the end of their completion of the Personal Evolution Program, and in it I address a need for approval, ego development, the purpose and motivation for personal evolution…and the distinction between self-worth and value, and more…
Your self-worth is a settled matter if you will accept it as such.
Enjoy.
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How to Determine Your Fees and Get Paid What You Are Worth [Part 2]
Part 1 from last week is HERE. Go there to read it for the fist time or to refresh your memory before reading part 2.
Live a Life of Service
There are two components to getting paid what you are worth.
- A foundation of service and contribution
- Skill with creating more accurate and more effective value perceptions
Make a Choice Today–if you have not already done so–to live a life dedicated to assisting others. To be of service. To be an agent in overt operations designed to assit others in reaching their pinnacle–or at least the next plateau and vista. This is the foundation you must come from to act ethically with tools of influence—and to be justified in greater latitude in the type of influence you use.
How to Determine Your Fees and Get Paid What You Are Worth [Part 1]
One of the challenges I see so many coaches and solopreneurs struggle with is what they should charge for their services. Most do not know what they should charge. Many charge what they think they can get. Some charge whatever the next coach or practitioner charges. That is–”the going rate”. Many charge what they would be willing to pay themselves. Most charge less than they are worth–while improving the lives of others dramatically.
But why? And what are the solutions to this travesty of value?
The Top 6 Mistakes Coaches and Practitioners Make [and Their Solutions] (Part 2)
We have already covered errors in philosophical grounding, lack of skill, and a failure of implementing a sustainable structure for your business–and for the scope of your clients’ needs.
What is next?
More nuts and bolts rather than philosophical grounding or mindset:
Mistake: Having only 1 stream of prospects
Most coaches and solo-preneurs rely on word of mouth. Word of mouth is critical. In the 21st Century marketplace there are hyper-empowered and talkative people. This is good for you. However, it is not enough. Make a decision now to take control–to be the locus of responsibility–for the success of your business. While word of mouth is critical, it is only one of at least three prospect streams the successful solo-preneur must establish for themselves. What are those three?
The Top 6 Mistakes Coaches and Practitioners Make [and Their Solutions] (Part 1)
It is amazing how many coaches, solopreneurs, massage therapists, lawyers, etc. are competent at what they do–yet suffer financially. They are doing good, but they are not doing well–that is, they are struggling financially, mentally, and emotionally.
There are reasons for this. I have identified the top 6 reasons–and their solutions-that I have found in my experience in my own business as well as observing those who still have a “practice”.
The first 3 are presented to you below. The next three will be in Part 2 in a couple of weeks.
A Lack of Integral Thinking: “Money and Spirituality are in Conflict”
Emotional Freedom Techniques [Part 2]
Be sure to read Part 1 here first.
Practical Steps to Emotional Freedom
Your practice, if you want to develop choice, facility, and ultimately, personal freedom and mastery over your own subjective experience, is the following:
Make a decision right now to take 100% responsibility for your subjective experience. Every bit of it. Your interpretations, your feelings, your emotions, your beliefs—accept that 100% of your subjective experience is generated by…you.
Emotional Freedom Techniques [Part 1]
“We do not respond to reality. We respond to our internal representation of reality.”—NLP Presupposition
“Mind precedes everything. All that you are is a result of what you have thought.”—Buddhist Principle
People of great wisdom and insight in both the East and West agree. Our emotional experience has little or nothing to do with external reality. Oh sure—there are plenty of people, events, situations, and injustices that are easy targets for blame. Bad things happen. And while, often people’s lives are the sum total of their choices, often bad things happen to good people through no action or fault of their own. And less dramatically, unpleasant and undeserved things may happen. Only a fool would dispute that.
The Benefit of a Spiritual Practice [Part 2 of 2]
Be sure to read Part 1 of this article here.
Taking Responsibility
The more you take responsibility—for your emotions, your actions, your life the more you build self-esteem. It is not the person who upset you, it is that you became triggered—or that you lost facility. It is not that the cost of living is too high; it is that you are not generating enough income. It is not that someone treats you poorly; it is that you are ineffective at drawing appropriate boundaries. The locus of responsibility—and therefore power—is within you. Nothing is external. To blame someone is to give them tremendous power over you. When you forgo blame in favor of responsibility, you give up comfort, but you reap tremendous rewards—gaining power and building self-esteem.
Self Hypnosis: The Voices in Your Head [Part 1 of 2]
When most people hear the word “hypnosis” they get a little unsettled. They usually get unsettled as a result of some fantasy about what hypnosis is or is not. Some associate it to stage hypnosis and the Vegas show world. Others are afraid of what someone might do to them when they are unconscious. Still others are afraid of clucking like a chicken when the phone rings. Others my simply roll their eyes thinking that hypnosis is more mumbo-jumbo for the woo-woo set who wear patchouli oil and live in Northern California or in Boulder, Colorado.
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